“…I have learned that it is useless to label things as either good or bad. The key is to see everything as a lesson.” – Ricky Martin, “Me”
I’ve been reading Ricky Martin’s autobiography, “Me”, and it has made a tremendous impact on me.
I know…I know…you think Ricky Martin? Really??? You mean pretty boy Ricky Martin has the ability to make an impact on you??? REALLY???
Yes…so sit back and listen to my story.
I’ve written before about how I was married for several years and have children from that marriage. I came out later in life, and have always struggled since I was a child to find my place in life. I think I’ve got it figured out sometimes, and then bam, the world hits me again, and I end up swirling around like in a drain.
Now, back to Ricky.
I’m reading Ricky’s book this morning at my favorite coffee shop where I get breakfast on Saturday mornings. Ricky is talking about how he has begun to crash from all of his tours, appearance, and intense schedule. He’s at home, after canceling the last week of a concert tour, and a close friend comes by to see him. He’s lying around in pajamas, just trying to rest. She comes in and gets upset at his appearance. She immediately jumps to conclusions, and starts berating him about his lack of motivation. He gets angry at her, and throws a glass against a wall, where it shatters into a million pieces.
Somehow, strangely, I felt the impact of that glass. I felt the shattering into a million pieces. And suddenly, it dawned on me.
When I came out, I was kind of forced out by my ex-wife. I attempted to live life as a married gay man after that, but it didn’t work. In the idea of the shattered glass that was my life, this was the final tinkle of glass shards hitting the floor. And then there was quietness.
It was in that quietness that I realized that to put “my glass” back together I needed to step away from the marriage and life that had ultimately shattered me into a million pieces. There are so very many reasons why I feel like the marriage and life experiences had done this to me. I can point fingers at my ex-wife, at my family, at my religious beliefs, at society, you name it. But I realized then, subconciously, and now, conciously, that I am the one who is ultimately responsible for putting my life back together, and becoming a vessel that can be useful once again, just as Ricky is talking about in his book.
So, thank you, Ricky. Whether or not you ever read this, know that I am eternally grateful for you throwing that glass at the wall, and allowing it to hit me, as you say, at the right time.
Southern Guy 